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Humor, Essays & Miscellaneous

1968 - 2008???

By Thanks to Woody Pope | Feb 27, 2008



Scenario: Pedro fails English in high school.

1967 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college
.

2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher.
English banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given a diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.


Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July,
puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a fire ant hill.

  
1967 - Ants die.
 
2007 - Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, Homeland Security, and FBI called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates parents; siblings are removed from home; computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad goes on Terror Watch List and is never allowed to fly again.


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
 
Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher who hugs him to comfort
him.

 

1967 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.


2007 - Teacher is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in state prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy

Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1967 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the
principal. He returns to class, sits still, and does not disrupt class again.

 

2007 - Jeffrey is diagnosed with ADD and given huge doses of ritalin. Becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from State because Jeffrey has a learning disability.


Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1967 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

 
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is placed in foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist convinces Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself, and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.

1968 - Vice principal comes over to look at Jack's shotgun. He goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2008 - School goes into lock-down, and FBI is called. Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.


Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

 
1968- Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends.


2008 - Police called. SWAT team arrives. Johnny and Mark are arrested and charged with assault. Both are expelled even though Johnny started it.


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